


Rimmer/Reader

by constipatedmuse



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: F/M, Fuck Or Die, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex, Sex Pollen, Sort Of, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22668736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constipatedmuse/pseuds/constipatedmuse
Summary: Rimmer and Reader get kidnapped and tortured by a simulant.
Relationships: Arnold Rimmer/Original Female Character(s), Arnold Rimmer/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Rimmer/Reader

**Author's Note:**

> There's no way Rimmer confronts his feelings without a push. Thus, this fic was born.

Rimmer had never been in love, a fact his shipmates loved to tease him about. And since he was dead, he was pretty sure he never would be. So when they found a girl in stasis, he didn't even get his hopes up. She'd fall for Cat or, god forbid, Lister, and that would be that. He'd just have to swallow back the bile he couldn't actually produce.  
He'd have been stunned to learn that she'd developed a crush on him. Unfortunately, she misinterpreted his distance as hatred.

* * *

Her first impression of the rogue simulants was how truly horrible they were. They'd captured and separated the crew for no reason.  
Rimmer was slowly losing his mind. He was trapped in a tiny room with a girl he'd done his best to avoid but had fallen for, anyway. When a simulant barged in, he was almost grateful…until it used a remote to make him disappear.  
She yelled indignantly and swung at the simulant. It caught her hand and laughed. "Oh, I have the perfect punishment for you," it cackled. "We just picked this up from a pleasure ship last week." It pressed a few more buttons on the remote, then tossed Rimmer's light bee in the air before striding out and slamming the door behind it.  
Rimmer stumbled as he rematerialized. "Are you alright?" she asked.  
His eyes locked with hers as he struggled to say something. "I feel...off," he said.  
"Off? How?" she responded.  
He continued to stare at her, then swallowed thickly. She touched his shoulder, and he flinched back. "Don't," he said.  
"Right," she said coldly, pulling her hand back. She crossed her arms over her chest.  
He stared at the cleavage spilling over her forearms. It took every bit of willpower to look back at her eyes. "Sorry. I can't seem to focus on anything. Except…" he trailed off.  
"Except what?"  
He could smell her fear, feel the warmth radiating off her, even hear her heartbeat. Everything was driving him wild. "Except you," he breathed.  
"Oh," she said, in a small voice. "Is that what the simulant did to you?"  
"Yeah, I think so," he said.  
"It said it found this program on a pleasure ship, right?"  
"Yeah," he agreed, beginning to pant.  
"I think I've heard of this program. It was blackmail, designed to make holograms more, er, agreeable. They'd kidnap the holograms of famous and attractive people, and if they didn't want to pleasure the clientele, they'd give them this, er," she cleared her throat. "This 'fuck or die' protocol."  
"Fan-smegging-tastic," Rimmer sighed, throwing his hands in the air. He turned around and tried to walk away, but the cell wasn't large enough for him to go very far.  
She caught his arm and spun him to face her. "I like you," she said. "And I'd like to help you through this."  
He wanted to believe her. He really did. But what if this was just an elaborate prank? Just one more joke at his expense?  
She pulled him to her. "I've been crushing on you since I thawed out. I know you don't like me, but let me help you. Kiss me."  
He tried to resist. He really did. But when she leaned in and slowly licked the scar on his jaw, he lost it. He pinned her to the wall, pushed his thigh between her legs, and began kissing her. He opened his mouth a bit and ran his tongue over her lip. She moaned a little and opened her mouth, too. He swirled his tongue inside.  
Her tongue started dancing with his. One of her hands buried itself in his curls and began massaging his scalp. The other wrapped tightly around his waist. She hiked her leg up behind his knees.  
Not to be outdone, he slid his hands under her shirt. He pulled away long enough to yank her top off, then slammed his lips back onto hers. He slid his hands around her waist and up her back, then unclasped her bra and threw it over his shoulder. Then, Rimmer's hands were on her breasts, massaging, squeezing, pinching.  
She pulled away, with a squeak. “Oh, god, you're really good at that,” she murmured against his throat.  
He shivered a bit, then removed his hands from her chest for a moment as he pulled his uniform top off.   
She began nibbling and sucking on his neck, while running her right hand down his chest. When she slid past his underwear and reached his cock, he hissed in pleasure. She grabbed him and started stroking.  
“That's so good,” he sighed.  
She hummed in agreement and fell to her knees, using her left hand to pull him down with her. Then, she eased down onto her back. He quickly followed.  
She took her right hand back, and Rimmer whined a little. They kissed again, deep and hard, and she slid her hands down to remove her pants. She kicked them off and wrapped her left leg around Rimmer's waist.  
“Arnold, I want you inside me,” she begged, arching her back off the floor.  
He flushed a deep shade of red and yanked his pants and underwear off at once.  
“Fuck me,” she moaned, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him closer.  
He smiled and kissed her again. Then, suddenly, gloriously, blissfully, he was completely inside her.  
“Oh, yes,” she breathed. “Oh, that's incredible, Arnold!”  
He pulled out a bit, then slammed back in, and she moaned again. He pumped once more, and she opened her eyes. Rimmer's were rolled back in his head. He was completely lost in bliss. God, that was hot.  
“Arnold,” she said. “Arnie, wait a second. Roll over.” He blinked a couple of times, then begrudgingly obeyed.  
She straddled him, gripped his cock, and guided it in place. Then, she gingerly sank onto him. She put her hands on his shoulders and started riding him.  
He called her name and reached up to grip her breasts. He began thrusting up into her.  
She screamed in pleasure and raked her nails down his chest as she came.  
Rimmer felt her clench tight and almost came himself. Instead, he held her close, so she couldn't move. After a long moment, he released her. Then, he grabbed her ass and squeezed.  
She squealed happily and lifted herself almost all the way off Rimmer's cock before sliding back down.  
"Oh, god," he moaned in a baritone that made her shiver. "Do that again."  
She giddily complied, and they groaned in unison. She arched her back and continued riding him, then she grabbed his hands and pinned them to the ground by his shoulders. She whispered in his ear, "Oh, Arnold, I'm so close."  
"Do it," he begged. "Come for me."  
She lifted up and down a few more times, then cried out as she came hard. "Come with me, Arnie," she breathed. Briefly, she expected to feel him, to feel his come, but when she opened her eyes, she saw his H and remembered he was a hologram.  
She collapsed on top of him, and he wrapped both arms around her. "I can't feel my legs," she mumbled into his chest.  
He laughed and kissed her temple. "Stay here for a bit, then."  
She kissed his chest, then slid off him onto the floor. She stretched and all but purred. Rimmer briefly appreciated the view, then rolled onto his side to face her. He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her to him.  
She snuggled in closer, basking in the glow of their shared oxytocin. She dreaded the moment when he recalled how much he hated her.  
They started to drift off, before she suddenly remembered where they were. "Rimmer, are you any better?"  
His eyes slowly opened. "Yeah, I think I am."  
"Good," she said. "I suppose you'll be wanting to get dressed now." She sat up, then started to stand up.  
He pulled her back to him. "Only because the simulants could come back at any time. I'd love nothing more than to stay with you."  
She snorted. "Don't patronize me. I know you don't like me."  
He cupped her cheek in his right hand. "I actually like you quite a lot. That's why I've been avoiding you. Nothing works out for me, so why would you?" He dropped his hand.  
She blinked in shock. "Really?"  
"Really. Now, let's get dressed and break out of here."  
"Do you have a plan?" she asked.  
"No, I was kind of hoping you did."  
She smiled sheepishly. "Do you think the simulants have ever seen Revenge of the Surfboarding Killer Bikini Vampire Girls?"


End file.
